Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

Back in early December, Lisa, Myles and I had a conversation about which works of classic literature could be improved by the presence of zombies. My favorite idea, of course, was The Great Gatsby, with Gatsby crawling out of the pool looking for brains and revenge. None of us had any idea that any such book was in the works--just a shared fascination with zombies.

I am definitely not a sci-fi person when it comes to reading. But when Myles thrust World War Z into my hands a few years ago, I loved it--and have spent an obscene amount of time since then pondering what would happen if the zombie plague ever hit. And thanks to Seth Grahame-Smith, now we know what it would have been like if the zombies invaded 19th century England.

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is about as faithful an adaptation as a book can be when it mixes Victorian hijinks with the undead (obvious parallels aside). It's almost too lovingly done to be a true parody, although that's the ostensible intent. It's a fully zombie-integrated little world--it's not like monsters are dropped into a pastoral scene, and all hell breaks loose. Rather, the zombies have been around the English countryside for a while. The origins are vague, but the "unpleasantness" has made the world's citizens evolve a little. For example, the five Bennett sisters (pretty Jane, plucky Elizabeth, and, uh, the other three) are all lovely young middle-class ladies--who just happent to have been trained by their father and a Chinese martial arts master in the deadly arts. The sisters attend balls with eligible bachelors, take long walks through the countryside, and can disembowel a zombie in about ten seconds flat.

I'm not the biggest fan of Victorian lit as a rule (I won't ever read Tess of the D'Urbervilles again, no matter what kind of monsters you add), but the further I got into the book, the more I liked Pride and Prejudice. Maybe it's because the social commentary is more direct in this edition: even the best female fighters give it all up as soon as they get married; and it's mostly the underclasses who fall victims to the zombies, because the rich can afford more protection. It may just have been the seamlessness of Austen's narrative with the surreal element. The zombies are essentially scenery--the traditional boy-girl misunderstandings are still the primary element of the book. It's a fun context, though, and makes the Victorian absurdity more palatable. I always thought that Jane Austen needed a touch more brutality.

Lisa, who read the book with me (zombie book club!), even went back and re-read the original to see how it stacks up. Her verdict: zombie-less Bennetts are not as exciting, but the adapted writing is shockingly on point.

I'm still holding out for Gatsby, but am now considerably more receptive to zombified classic lit. Can't wait for Little Women. I bet Beth would be an awesome zombie.

Parts I liked:

"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains. Never was this truth more plain than during the recent attacks at Netherfield Park, in which a household of eighteen was slaughtered and consumed by a horde of the living dead."

"Elizabeth accepted their company, and they set off together, armed only with their ankle daggers. Muskets and katana swords were a more effective means of protecting one's self, but they were considered unladylike; and, having no saddle in which to conceal them, the three sisters yielded to modesty."

"At length, quite exhausted by the attempt to be amused with her own book, which she had only chosen because it was the second volume of his, she gave a great yawn and said, 'How pleasant it is to spend an evening this way! I declare after all there is no enjoyment like reading!'
'Spoken like one who has never known the ecstasy of holding a still-beating heart in her hand,' said Darcy."

"In spite of her deeply rooted bloodlust, she could not be insensible to the compliment of such a man's affection, and though her intention of killing him did not vary for an instant, she was somewhat sorry for the pain he was about to receive."